Since he joined West Ham on a seven-year contract and expressed his belief that he would “continue to improve as a player”, Max Kilman has indeed set the bar for top-flight transcendence.
No player has conceded more than his 91 Premier League goals in the intervening 18 months. West Ham being West Ham, teammate Kyle Walker-Peters is naturally second on 90, with Mateus Fernandes (87) rounding out a miserable podium.
There is no particular shame in being hoodwinked by the quick feet of Tijani Reijnders, nutmegged by Rico Lewis or generally tormented by Erling Haaland. But after being recalled to the starting line-up by Nuno Espirito Santo, there was an expectation that Kilman might react more positively to having been dropped.
Instead it was more of the same: indecision, a lack of leadership and an innate vulnerability to even the vaguest kind of movement.
It takes a concerted effort to outrank Roger Johnson for diabolical defending against Manchester City but Kilman mustered a challenge to that sh*t-stained crown at the Etihad.
He welcomed Reijnders into the six-yard box like an old friend, before slipping as he arrived on the scene of the ongoing crime that is West Ham’s wider attempts at defending, culminating in Haaland’s second goal.
As one West Ham podcast’s website equivalent put it in the aftermath of defeat:
‘Pound for pound, Max Kilman is West Ham’s worst centre-back of the Premier League era.
‘In fact, pound for pound, he may be the worst West Ham signing of the Premier League era.’
It is perhaps the most competitive field of any Premier League club. But Kilman’s candidacy cannot be doubted as a £40m defender who appears to make West Ham considerably worse at defending with his mere presence.
Shortly after leaving Wolves, he described representing England as “a big aim for me”.
“I have been competing against other Premier League central defenders in the last couple of years,” he said, “and I have been consistent. I want to get as high as I can as a player so playing for England would be a huge honour.”
To call that a pipedream now would be generous as Kilman’s supposed career move quickly descends further into nightmare territory for player, club and manager.
It is genuinely impressive to have sensed the imminent hell unravelling at Wolves, only to jump into the raging dumpster fire of West Ham.
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